It’s true that everyone experiences some form of fear and anxiety throughout their lives, it’s simply
part of human life. The problem lies with understanding the fear and anxiety that the people we
love experience, especially when it comes to children.
It is entirely normal for parents to want to know if the anxiety and fear that their child is
experiencing is normal. As a parent, you might have found yourself asking, “How do I tell the
difference between normal fears and abnormal fears?”. You may even be curious if your child’s
fear is becoming a serious problem.
What you really want to know is how you can help your children become the best they can be.
It’s important for you to seek answers to these questions as soon as you feel that
“Something isn’t right” feeling.
If a parent chooses to wait until a child’s anxiety has become problematic then the child
may already be showing signs that treatment is appropriate. Some of the signs you’ll recognize
are poor schoolwork, below average grades, a disinterest in hanging out with friends, your child
avoiding social situations
and possibly even drug abuse.
Children experience fear and anxiety as a part of the learning process of growing up. In an
otherwise healthy child, a parent can help the child overcome fear and anxiety by talking about
the fears with their child. Through healthy discussion and a parent’s comfort, these children can
usually overcome the majority of fears and anxiety that they are experiencing.
Most psychologists recommend that all parents gradually and lovingly expose children to
their fears in order to help them overcome these fears. As humans, we need to learn how to address
our fears head-on and it’s the parents duty to help kids do this when they are ready.
What Will My Child Think?
A child who doesn’t have an anxiety disorder may not like this but will respond easier than a child
who does have an anxiety disorder. It is entirely normal for children to want to try new things and
meet new people, even if they do have a certain degree of anxiety about the situation.
With children who are healthy, working through anxiety will take time and effort from both you and
your child. With a child experiencing excessive anxiety, this time will consume the majority of your life!
Overcoming fear and anxiety is rarely instantaneous. The most important question here is,
“How does the child’s fear and anxiety affect the quality of the child’s life and the family?”
As a parent, if your child has an anxiety disorder you will be able to come up with clear answers
for this question because the disruption that is caused will impact your life in a fairly obvious way.
If you are a parent and your child suffers anxiety, you will feel a certain amount of guilt and sorrow
for your child. If you try a lot of things, comforting or talking with your child, and you see
no improvement, then you need to understand that it is NOT your fault.
It’s not your fault.
You need to understand that your child is having a war inside of their head and they simply
need your support to stay strong to help and support them through this war and ensure that
the child receives proper treatment. “Never blame yourself” is rule number 1. If you try blaming yourself,
it will only get in the way of your thought process and interfere with your child’s recovery from anxiety.
If you feel that your child’s fear and anxiety is not normal then you need to move onto the next stage,
which is acceptance.
Acceptance
This is the stage where you will recognize and accept that the fear and anxiety your child experiences
have already become problematic. When you move into this acceptance phase you can begin to
formulate a plan to help your child cope with their fear and anxiety. The best way to do this is to
arm yourself with as much information about childhood anxiety as possible. When you learn
the difference between what is normal and what is not, you will begin to gain understanding of
problematic behaviors that your son/daughter might experience. One of the first things you will
want to know is the signs and symptoms of excessive anxiety and what these signs mean.
What Signs and Symptoms to Look For
The signs and symptoms to look for can be confusing because there are both physical and
emotional symptoms to look for. There are so many different kinds of anxiety disorders that
it’s also difficult to give one symptom to identify all types of childhood anxiety.
Some common emotional symptoms:
-feeling restless
-worry that interferes with daily life
-feeling jumpy
-sleeping problems
Some of the physical symptoms:
-sweating
-racing heart
-headaches
-sleepwalking
-insomnia
If you are noticing these symptoms in your child it might be a sign that they are feeling excessive
amounts of anxiety that could lead them to more problematic behaviors down the road.
Important factors for you to understand as a parent is that children pick up what’s happening
around them very easily. If you being to see excessive anxiety signs in one or more of your children
you must remain calm and supportive no matter how hard it gets. It is very common for a parent to
begin worrying for their child and then the child recognizes this and makes the anxiety even
worse for the child.
When this happens, your child may begin to show even more signs and symptoms and might
begin to act out more than before. Keep in mind that it isn’t your fault and you need to continue
to try to help your child. To help your children you are going to need to keep asking questions
and looking for answers. Read anything and everything that you can about overcoming
child anxiety. Many resources are available including all the information in the Anxiety Free Child Program.
You also want to keep in mind what your child’s natural temperament has been over the
course of their life. Ask yourself some questions and start taking notes of behavioral changes.
How did they act as a baby? How would they express feelings before they could talk?
If you take the time to document these things then it will be a useful tool for you if you should choose to
treat your child’s anxiety issues. It will also be used as a resource for you that will give you a bigger picture of the anxiety.
Having this information documented will help you decide what the best course of action will be.
As a parent, you are the person who lives daily with your child and you are the first line of defense
against a childhood anxiety disorder following your child into their adult life and
becoming a life long challenge.
If you feel that your child is experiencing fear and anxiety that is beyond normal then it is important to speak with your general practitioner to rule out any physical reasons for the anxiety. If comforting your child is not working and talking things through with the child has become impossible then seek help. Anxiety in children can become very severe and will begin to affect their lives in countless negative ways. A child may begin to recede from their surroundings, they may begin to hate school or refuse to attend, they might have trouble forging relationships with teachers and parents. These problems will grow until the child begins to act out on their fears and the child may become very angry. Having a child with anxiety is difficult and overwhelming, but remember, there is help.
If you suspect your child may be suffering from anxiety, click below to learn more about what you can do to help:
